I did not try to get clean and sober because I thought it was a good idea.
Not because someone begged me to stop using.
Not because a judge threatened me.
Not because an employer or a spouse threatened me.
I could not stand being inside my own skin, could not look at myself in the mirror, and alcohol stopped removing my discomfort. Alcohol just brought more terror. I was desperate.
I had lost my soul and wanted to die. All because I was a slave to a substance which used to make me feel free.
I don’t want to suffer anymore.
It’s personal. That’s why I can’t make someone else want to be clean and sober.
The desire comes from within me.
God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.