I found out early on that I have to actually endure feeling my feelings.
That is the deep end of the pool, with no flotation device.
No more numbing my feelings, no matter how deep they go and no matter how long they last.
Most of the time I couldn’t even identify what I was feeling.
Pretty scary at times for someone like me. Very real too.
I didn’t drown. I learned to swim. It’s easier now, but that initial apprehension still comes around.
God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.