Daily Missives

I often write about getting through difficult times. As real as the difficulties have been, they become fewer over time. I have found that the more attention that I pay to my spiritual connection with God, the easier my life becomes – inside of my heart and soul. Finding a rhythm with God and with…

Read more…

Having to get sober is difficult. In a couple of words, it sucks. When I got sober, the shame, guilt, remorse, and self-loathing were almost unbearable. All these were feelings that I would ordinarily drink or use drugs over.  I could not get better all at once. It takes time. It takes pain. It takes…

Read more…

We all screw up sometimes. It’s human nature. We are not perfect. Sometimes my mistakes affect only me, but usually they involve others. I must recognize when I make a mistake and try to correct it as soon as I can. I can’t run and hide because my conscience will always catch up to me.…

Read more…

When my soul is in pain, there is a feeling of desperation unlike any other. The noise in my head keeps me from thinking clearly and causes a deep panic within me. It seems that people often say “God help me!” only when they are desperate or when their hope is lost. The soul pain…

Read more…

There are times when I’m looking for an answer and it doesn’t seem to come when I want it or it’s not the answer I want. Sometimes the answer is exactly what I get whether I like it or not. I don’t always get what I want but I always get what I need. I…

Read more…

Every day an alcoholic suffers and dies. Every day an alcoholic walks into their first AA meeting with their hair on-fire and their ass in their hands, trying to save it. Not everyone makes it. The ones that do are the messengers. The ones that don’t are the message. The ones who make it follow…

Read more…

It has become clear to me that the alcohol addiction is just a symptom of my alcoholism. With or without the alcohol, my problem starts inside of me – my thoughts, feelings, and actions. After the alcohol was removed, I was still stuck with myself. I had to change.  It’s like when a drunk horse-thief…

Read more…

When I was about 30 days without a drink I was told, “… You’re going to earn the right to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the rest of the world with your head held high.”. At the time, I was just afraid that I would just wind up drunk. I had no idea what it meant. I…

Read more…

I remember hanging on with little hope. I had no idea how I would get through the day. I was told, “One day at a time – one moment at a time.” It worked. I realized that I can get through this moment if I look at only this moment – not the past nor…

Read more…

There was a time in my life where I truly believed I was hopeless – that my destiny was to suffer in sadness and misery until eventually I would just die. I thought that getting to that end as quickly as possible was the best choice for me. I did not know where or how…

Read more…