Author: Dennis W.

“Picking up again is not an option”.

I have heard people say that and I cringe. The sentiment is that somehow I am immune from relapse because I have this recovery thing all figured out.

It smells like arrogance and sounds like a lack of humility.

Then my dog dies , or parent dies, or my spouse leaves me, or I lose my job, or I break a shoelace…

I had better hope that my gratitude, humility, or faith didn’t die along the way.

I have lost friends for whom picking up was not an option – until it was. They are no longer with us.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

I wasn’t sure I was willing to pay the price to have this life. I did not know how it would turn out, so I had my doubts.

I was told to keep showing up, one day at a time. I was told it gets better.

It doesn’t get better all at once. Some days are better than others. Some days seem unbearable.

I have not given up yet.

Living one day at a time, enjoying little victories and learning from the difficulties, I have been blessed with a good life.

Life is hard sometimes, but the rewards of this kind of life are beyond measure.

I think I chose the right path.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

To solve my addiction problem, there is really nothing for me to “figure out”. It has already been “figured out”.

Hundreds of thousands of people like me have followed a prescription for recovery.

They all have followed the same program. They each have found it as a solution to their malady.

There even is a book written about it. And it has a chapter titled “How It Works”, which explains it.

If I say that I need to “figure it out”, I really don’t want it badly enough.

If I want it badly enough, I’ll take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

“Don’t do anything today that will make it tougher to stay sober tomorrow.”

Staying sober doesn’t mean only abstinence from substances, although that’s the start of it. It means that I change what I do in all aspects of how I treat myself and others.

If I start doing “little things” that I know I shouldn’t do, then I might continue to do the wrong thing. Then the guilt, shame, and remorse that follows may become too much to bear.

That is what I would drink over. It has more to do with how I feel about myself than any physical craving.

When I lose my moral compass, I lose God’s Guidance.

And that’s why I pray.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

I have often had the thought that time is slipping away. It just sits in the back of my mind as I get older.

Each of us has an expiration date. We just don’t know when that will arrive. 

There was a time when I could never imagine making it this far.

I have more days behind me than I have ahead of me. Thus, each remaining day carries more weight.

I try to live each day with a purpose. God has His Purpose for keeping me around.

God, please show me my purpose today.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

If I live my days concerned about what other people think about me, then I assume that other people think about me.

I’m not that important.

If I do the right things for the right reasons, I need not care about what other people think.

I have to live with myself. Doing the right thing becomes pretty clear to me.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

I found out early on that I have to actually endure feeling my feelings.

That is the deep end of the pool, with no flotation device.

No more numbing my feelings, no matter how deep they go and no matter how long they last.

Most of the time I couldn’t even identify what I was feeling.

Pretty scary at times for someone like me. Very real too.

I didn’t drown. I learned to swim. It’s easier now, but that initial apprehension still comes around.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

“If you do what we do, and you do what we tell you to do…

… You’re going to earn the right to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the rest of the world, with your head held high.”

I could not comprehend what that meant when I was told that by a wise and sober man.

By the Grace of God I followed his direction.

By the Grace of God I never gave up.

By the Grace of God I have been Blessed with a beautiful life.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

Putting down the substances is the easy part of recovery.

Putting in the work to change the person I had become is the hard part.

My perspectives, my attitudes, and my trust in God all need to change. 

No one sees those because they’re inside of me.

The biggest change is between me and God. I have to get honest with myself and God.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.

I am not responsible for being an alcoholic – it’s a disease.

I am responsible for my own recovery. Once I have been given the opportunity to live clean and sober, I am accountable.

If I don’t ask for help, if I don’t follow direction, or if I decide that life is too hard- that’s all on me. Looking for sympathy gets me nowhere.

I’m grateful that I don’t have to suffer anymore. I’m grateful that I was desperate and willing enough to follow direction.

God, please help me to be ok today. Thank You. Amen.